Waiting on the FAA

I need to hook up my ELT (Emergency Locator Transmitter) and put the numbers on and wait on the inspector guy. Then it's test pilot time.

It is finally flyable!

I'm finished with the plane! I still have to go through a condition inspection before the FAA inspector comes to look at it, but other than fitting one switch and sticking the numbers on, the plane is essentially finished.

The plane is not painted, and I will have some things to do, such as add the gear leg fairings and wheel fairings, but those are pretty much cosmetic.

I have 1.2 hrs taxi and test time on the ground, and next weekend I'm going back to Crossville, TN for the Sonex fly-in so I can get a bit of flying time in a plane like mine.

After the inspection, I will be a test pilot.

I've been dreaming of this for decades. Sometimes I can't sleep because I'm too exited.

We will not forget!

I pray for all of us who lost a lot that day.

My Bucket List

1. Finish building my airplane.
1a. Fly the airplane I built.
1b. Fly the airplane I built coast to coast (USA).
2. See Stonehenge.
3. See Ayers Rock.


I can probably add more as I see fit, but I've been wanting to do the above since I was in high school.

I've been able to go places and do things that most people never get to do, so my list is small, but if I make it to 1a, that'll be pretty good.

I have a new job

A buddy of mine in Australia says I'm too late to party with him and his mates. "We're all grown up and sensible these days".
So? My new job is a High School Assistant Principal at the end of July!!!

WTF?

I used to run sound for Rock and Roll bands in the 70's. I worked on racing teams from late 70's for almost 10 yrs. I worked in the Bahamas for the Naval Undersea Weapons Center. (Best job in the world I might add. Until I had a head on collision with a drunk driver who died in the crash and almost killed me.) I built a Hot Rod out of a 1937 Chevrolet coupe for Dave Hope, the former bass player of Kansas. There are a number of things I can't post at this time, but when I tell people stories of my life, most people think I make them up. Some are so bizarre that I shake my head and laugh. Sometimes I can't believe I'm still alive.

I have a job that requires me to be sensible and I'm grown up now, but I can still hold my own with the best of 'em.

I'm scrambling to get the plane off the ground in a few weeks because as soon as school starts, I'll have to get up at 5:15 - 5:30 AM to be at work at 7:15... (I live 60 miles from my new job). I've certainly seen 5:15 more times from the night before than I have from getting up that early.

This is all part of my plan to boost my retirement. I hope to retire in 10 yrs and hope that my retirement is enough to live on since I didn't plan too well for it.

The plane will be going to the hangar this weekend I hope. Then it's installing the wings and tail and hooking up the controls and wait for the inspection.

Of all the things I've done, places I've seen, and what I've survived, I just hope I survive this new job. I've been at my old one for almost 9 yrs and am pretty comfortable here. The unknown can be scary.

Fedoras and Tommy guns

Last weekend I left work at 2 and drove to Lowe's Motor Speedway to meet up with some friends and watch the NASCAR Truck race. It was exciting there at the end and I left for home around 10:30. Got up Saturday and first thing a friend is having trouble with the hatch on her van. Spent most of the morning rounding up a part and a special tool to remove the broken one, then left for the track again for the All Star race.

Left the track at 11PM and spent over an hour and 20 minutes completely stopped without moving. I was steamed. Finally arrived home at 2AM, took a shower and changed clothes. Went to my buddies house and crawled in the back seat of his truck. Left at 3AM and drove to upstate New York (900 miles away) to pick up his new 1930 Model A Ford Town Car. We arrive there around 7PM, drove the car around, did the transaction, loaded up and headed back. At about midnight we stopped for the night. Got up the next morning and headed back on the final leg and arrived home about 8PM Monday.

Reminds me of the time many years ago when a bunch of us kids were at Santa Cruz beach and someone said "lets go get a coke" so we drove to LA and got one. LA was about 400 miles away.

Can anyone Say Road trip? I'm in, even though it takes a bit longer to recuperate.

Warning Labels

If you are a contact lens wearer and suffer from seasonal allergies, you have probably been tempted to try some allergy eye drops to alleviate some of the irritation to your eyes.
A couple of days ago I was looking for some drops that would be ok for contact lenses. I have used some regular eye drops in the past but was still reading the warnings.
Most, but not all, of the allergy eye drops tell you to remove contact lenses before use. Fortunately, I found a brand that did not have this warning on it.

Soon after I got home I tried it. It stung just a bit, but it didn't take too long to realize my lenses were really dry. It was at this time I decided to remove them. Right eye...no problem. Left eye...lens didn't want to come out. I put a couple drops of regular solution and took it out.

Well, most of it came out. About 1/3 of it was still stuck to my eyeball! After about 40 minutes of rinsing, touching, blinking and finally scraping with my fingernail. I got what was left of it out.

That's the last time I will do that. The redness is gone, but I'm not happy about the whole ordeal. I thought I'd have to go to the emergency room.

Sunday was "Ripper" and I'm very "Chuffed"!!

For those of you who don't speak Australian or South African, ripper is another term for GREAT!! and chuffed is I'M EXTREMELY HAPPY!! I started the plane for the first time. It cranked up with only 2 prop turns and surprised me that it started so easily. It is going to take some carburetor tuning, which will be a pain as it is difficult to get to, but it sounds so good! I'll fit the cowling, then make the cooling baffles, then bolt the tail on. I'll have to take it over to my friends hangar as it won't fit very well in my garage with the tail on. Then it's just putting everything back together. Yesterday was an exciting day, even though I didn't tighten one of the fuel fittings and ran gas all over the carpet. We'll see if contact cement is fuel proof. It dried out pretty quickly, but it'll be a while before the smell is gone. Oh well.

Chuffed, I am!!

Mexico Conquers California, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah and Texas

I haven't had much to say these days as I have been working on the plane pretty feverishly. I think I'll be able to start it up next weekend!! I'm really looking forward to that! Then I have to fit the cowling and make the engine baffles. From there I'll make the wing tips and rig the controls. Then it's off to the airport for final assembly and waiting for the FAA inspection....YAY!


So that all being said....
I'd like to know what is up with Absolut, but I'm not going to buy their products any more.
This is pretty disgusting with all the illegal immigration and border issues going on here now.



Hey Absolut SUCK THIS and CRAM IT!!! _!_

Early to Rise

I finally remembered to bring the camera for my flight to work. It is going to be a perfect day. Sorry they are so grainy, but in low light the camera doesn't work too well. It was so nice that I don't mind getting up 20 minutes early to be able to fly.

This is shortly after takeoff and everyone is just starting their day.

The next picture shows that you can see where the river goes. When it's cool, the fog stays near the water. As you can see, the sun is just starting to come up.

It's great to be able to look down on the cars and trucks that usually pass me on the way to work. I drive slow so I can keep my highway mileage around 80 mpg...that's right 80mpg! I have a Honda Insight and by driving 55 mph, I can get that kind of mileage. It's necessary as I drive 50 miles each way to work.

Well, the sun is coming up and I'm ready to land. Gotta put the camera away and pay attention to what I'm doing.

Hope your day is as good as mine started.

Wiring Woes

I've been up to my neck in wiring the plane way too long. It's been weeks of a lot of staring and getting not much done.
I finally made enough progress to have the intercom and radio working. This has been way too much trouble, and I let myself get away with the KISS principle. Keep It Simple Stupid!
Well, it's not simple, it's too fucking complicated for my simple mind, but it's too late to simplify it. I wanted a cool looking panel to go with my cool looking leather interior, and I will have to admit, It is very cool! To make it simpler, it would cost another $3000-4000, which I don't have, but I'm spending money like it's going out of style anyway on it....
This is the last plane I plan to build and I'll keep it until I can't fly anymore, so what's the big deal? I'm getting cheap on myself.
If I can just get the intercom to work right, and I think it's an internal problem, I can make some headway. I'll order another one (this one was used and sounds good for a few seconds, then sounds like shit) and keep on wiring.
Imagine a plate of spaghetti without sauce on it. Each end of a noodle is like the end of a wire that has to be hooked to something. Hook them all up and then make it look nice and tidy. Yeah right.
Oh well, if I get it done soon, then I can install the fuel system (Much more my kind of task) and then I'll be able to crank 'er up! Maybe next week. Then the first flight will only be a month or two away!

The reflections on the panel make it look funny, but it's real carbon fiber (well veneer anyway). this pic is missing a couple of switches, but sexy, no?

Nothing New

I wish I had something funny or profound to say, but it's just the drudgery of normalcy. Saturday was as perfect a day as you could ever want. High 60's, which for February, is almost unheard of. Clear skies, no wind.... Makes for a perfect flying day. Did I partake? Hell no! I was to involved with the wiring of the plane to take a chance of blowing off the whole day. Ran the errands I needed as the stores I went to close at noon on Saturday. Did I fly then? Nope.

Did I get enough done to justify the day? No. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I could have flown, and then stayed up later doing the wiring. I'm just intimidated by it all. So I scratch my head, and/or my ass and wonder what to do next. I'm slowly getting it, but days like Saturday just don't come very often. I thought I'd fly Sunday, but you couldn't see across the street for most of the day because of low flying clouds, fog and rain.

Summertime will bring crappy visibility. The picture was taken last summer coming home from work, and was a couple of miles away and you can barely see where I am going to land. Cooler weather makes for better visibility. I should have gone Saturday. Next time.

Drug Runner?

I sent a letter to the lawyer, and he emailed me back with more info on my dad's plane. He put an ad in Trade A Plane, and within a week, he got a call from someone in Mexico who was interested in buying the plane.
When it was learned that it had long range fuel tanks, he said he would take it (sight unseen). The lawyer went on a business trip and when he got back, his secretary said there were two Mexican gentlemen waiting in a motel and had been there for 3 days. (The secretary couldn't get hold of the lawyer for 3 days? WTF?)
The one gentleman was a pilot and the other was buying the plane for his son who was a traveling physician. The plane they had now need $50,000 worth of updates, so they were looking for another one.
After looking at the plane, they paid the lawyer $52,000 cash in 20 dollar bills. It took the lawyer, his partner and accountant several hours to open the duct tape cylinders with rolls of 20s and count them.
I guess doctors in Mexico are paid in cash with American 20 dollar bills. That's the way it is here isn't it?
The plane was never registered in Mexico, and not re-registered here.

I got the registration for my plane Saturday. It's official 806MB. Now if I can just get the wiring finished (what a pain), fuel system in and the cowling finished, I'll be ready to fly the dang thing.

I looked at paint chips to see the colors to paint it, and I found some really cool paint. It's called Kameleon Kolors by House of Kolor. They actually change colors! I thought that would be perfect until I found out it costs $2250 per gallon (retail)!! I can get it for $1900 a gallon, but that is definitely 10 times more than I planned to spend. I guess I'll go for more traditional paints and colors.

N222EE

The fate of my fathers plane will be unknown, and probably forever. It was owned by a moron lawyer in Salem Oregon for 6 years, and sold in 1999 to a "John Doe" in Arizona somewhere, or as the official documentation states, Nogales Mexico.
I will never be in a position to be able to afford even an older Cessna 182 like that, but it was the nicest specimen of a 1967 C182K in the country.
There isn't much you can do with an airplane to customize it, but dad had all the legal speed modifications available and a special FAA approved Camshaft in the engine. I rebuilt it for him one summer when I was off from school, and it would cruise at 172 mph and burn 9 gallons per hour. That's almost 20 mpg! I know it doesn't sound like much, but it would hold 4 people plus luggage, and better mpg than most SUVs get.
Although I couldn't have afforded it, a buddy of mine would have bought it and I could have flown it whenever and wherever I wanted.
Now I'm on hold with the FAA waiting to be able to reserve that number. I just registered my Sonex with 806MB. 806 kind of looks like Bob although I would have rather had 808, but it is taken, and MB (Mike Bravo in international alphabet) stands for Margarita Bob, since I make the best Margaritas ever. It took me years to perfect my recipe. Mike Bravo would have been a good name for the main character in a couple of detective novels my dad wrote but never published, so it fits. I might change someday to 222EE if I can, but maybe I'll get another plane someday.
I didn't sleep much last night.

Getting healthy

Since I can't come up with something clever, I thought this post might be appropriate. It was sent as a forwarded email, so I can't give credit to who wrote it.

Answer Doctor

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!



Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

I'm back at work

I have been negligent in blogging, but it is increasingly difficult to be funny. I now know why comedians end up having to go through rehab....
When I was on the pain killers, my imagination was going crazy, and it was pretty easy to formulate a funny story out of reality.

Needless to say, I'm back at work, and I could be retired in a minute if I could afford it. I'm on my mission to finish my plane in the next few months, and I spend several hours a day on it when I get home.

When I had all the trouble with the "after surgery recuperation", the rash was some of the worst times. I'd get in the shower and turn the water on full hot with the shower massager and try to burn the itch away. There was one spot halfway between the top of my crack and where my belt rides that as soon as I would hit it, it would make me pee. It didn't matter if I had to go or not, I'd go even if it was just a little bit.
WHERE WAS THIS WHEN I HAD TO HAVE THE CATHETERS??!?!?!?!!!????

I just thought it was funny, and didn't give it much thought until one night in my sleep I must have scratched that same spot. OMG!!! Scratching it has the same effect. Fortunately I didn't wet the bed, but I did have to change my underwear (yes I took a bath first). Mental note: Don't even touch back there!

I'm glad that's all over, but sometimes I still get itchy. I hope that all goes away forever soon.

I guess my next update will be on the plane. It's getting exciting!

Ring of Fire

Yes, I know it's been over 2 weeks since my last post, but it is difficult for me to try to be funny. Friends at work say I'm pretty entertaining, but that's in person.

Well, I thought I would have to go to N.A. meetings to get off the Lidocaine. You know..."Hi, I'm Bob and I have a drug problem." "Hello Bob!" (I don't know why there is a big gap in the text here, but it won't go away)
As it turns out, the problem took care of itself. I developed a reaction to using it. When I was in itching hell, I'd put on some more lidocaine. It would take about 15-20 minutes for the itching to subside, and I'd be good for a couple of hours. Well, I got this rash, and it itched like hell too, so I thought, "I'll just put some on it too." Within a couple of days, I had the worst case of rash on my ass that I could imagine, and the itching was worse than ever. On my side, I'll bet my ass looks like a hippo mouth with chapped lips! I'm still only getting about 3-4 hours of sleep a night because of the itching. Not only that, but I have rash starting where I've never used lidocaine. I have an itchy ring around my belly button! WTF is up with that?!

Went to the doc today, and I now have a cream for the itch part of where the sugery was..., one for my cheeks, and another one for the other independent rashes. He says it looks like I've developed a mild infection. Great, just fucking great! The good part of all this?
In between hot baths (3-4 a day), and itchy spells (more than 3 or 4 a day), I can't sit long because it irritates the itch, so I go out to the garage and work on my airplane. I'm hoping to be able to crank it up sometime next month and fly soon after that!

There's a ton of work to do on it, but I'm on a mission.

Star of Bethlehem

I'm realizing that my recovery is taking as long as the doctor said. I figured I would be back to normal in a few weeks. Although I have periods of normalcy, this itching is about to take me down. I've become a lidocaine junky. It says on the tube to use every 6 hours. HA! After 2 hours it was itching so bad, I was almost wishing for the intense pain I woke up to. So I was using the lidocaine as needed.

Well, the swelling hasn't gone down like it should, and the redness is getting worse. After one of my tub episodes, I was bent over looking in the mirror and thought, "My ass looks like a Christmas ornament, it could almost be the star on top of the tree". Upon furthur inspection, the way the swelling is and how the redness is making a halo around it, I decided instead it looks like the Star of Bethlehem.

Mind now going into overdrive... how could this be marketed on ebay? Not many guys can say their ass looks like a heavenly object. I do know quite a few women that have those, however. It would be easy if it looked like the Virgin Mary, or Jesus himself, I'd even take Willie Nelson or George Bush, but this isn't a piece of toast or pancake that I can sell. Pictures probably wouldn't sell very well as most people would think they were photoshopped. Being in the true Christmas spirit, I thought about standing on top of the house with a nativity scene below, and a spotlight on my ass hoping that it would inspire some wise men to lavish my humble abode with Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh.

Alas, one of the neighbors would probably call the cops and although it probably wouldn't be proven to be indecent exposure in a court of law it could, however, be considered at that point a career limiting move. Besides it's cold out there.

No matter what, it's not a pretty picture.

"Are you suffering from that painful, rectal itch?"

That was an actual line from a Preparation H commercial some years ago. I have a new definition of rectal itch. It will wake you from a dead sleep, and you jerk the covers off and get to the bathtub as fast as you can. The doctor prescribes water as hot as you can stand, which lights the itch into afterburner. It seems to me that when you have swelling, you should have cold on it, but what do I know.
So, I have this little step stool I perch an elbow on, put my feet on the sides of the tub (one side is almost non-existent, however) hold my nutsack up and feel the painful rectal itch go into overdrive as the hot water rises. After 15 or so minutes of this, the itch subsides, and you use your foot to hit the drain.
If you accidently slip with the nutsack, the commotion is similar to a quarterback fumbling the ball on the snap. It's all assholes and elbows and sounds like you are trying to land that 400 pound tuna into your little boat and there is a shark feeding frenzy going on.
This itch can be worse than the pain, and the demerol does nothing for it.
My new daily routine:
Bath, try to get really dry as I'm afraid I'll get athlete's foot, jock itch and the equivalent of diaper rash. Don't sit too much as it'll get the itch going sooner. about 2 hours later repeat the process. Day and night. Sometimes I just want to run a curling iron up my crack. I've been thinking about trying to find a drug dealer for some coke suppository. Somehow I don't think my prescription plan is going to cover that one. I'd go to the witch doctor if I thought it would help.
I hope you all are having a better time than me.
Dr. appt. tomorrow. For once I can hardly wait.

Piss Bag Hell

I'm alive 1 week after surgery. That's the good part (subject to change).

I was more than a little apprehensive about this whole thing to begin with. I go in for surgery and wake up an hour and a half later in the most incredible pain imaginable. They ask you how much pain you have rated 1-10. With 10 being you feel like you'll pass out. I'm no stranger to pain, but this was the most intense pain...I think most of the other times I was in shock, which helps.
Being a fan of the movie, "This is Spinal Tap" , I say 11, but you'd think the tears running from my eyes might be a little hint.

Big shot of morphine...20 minutes later, no change in pain. Another big shot of morphine and still no change. The Dr.s and nurses are looking at me and can't believe I'm not floating. Now a big shot of Dilaudid. Finally the tears stop.

If a doctor says we have to operate near your tailbone, rectum, colon, or anything like it down there, say thanks, but no thanks. Goto the nearest costume store and rent a dog costume. Put it on and see if you can find a vet that will put you to sleep. That is the only humane way to do this.

I don't know what they are called, but they go on the hand mixers to mix cake batter etc. Those metal 4 bladed twirly things. They have a small version of one of those and that's how they do the surgery...just run it up until they get what they want.

After I get home, I have to sit in a hot tub of water. That works out pretty well as the demerol is wearing off, but the hot water makes it not so bad waiting for another dose.

I'm home, and can't pee. I try everything cold water hot water straining until my whole insides were going to fall out my ass and NOTHING! Not even one dribble.
I go to the ER and get a catheter. Normally I don't mind pretty nurses fondling my crotch, but I was in pretty bad shape Since none of them wrote their phone number on my hand, I guess they weren't very impressed. Mild depression starts in after that little episode.

2 days go by. Awake for an hour asleep for 3. Everything is going to schedule, except for the catheter thing, until I forget to close the drain valve. Get out to the garage and drag the shop vac in to try and get all of it out of the carpet. Finally get it all cleaned up, like I really needed to do all that. 'Bout 15 minutes later a buddy comes by to check on me, feed the cats and dog . PERFECT! Why couldn't he have been here in time to at least bring me the shop vac. He did get me more water and carpet cleaner and put the vac away for me.

Day 3. I have become an enemagician. There ain't no way in hell your body will let you take a dump. The put sponges, tools, rivets, scotch tape, and a large briar in there, and no stool softener in the world will touch that. Doc says fill the bag up with warm tap water, then fill you up and wait 30 minutes. 30MINUTES?!?! I couldn't wait 30 seconds. Every thing came out but the briar. Back in the tub to get over the trauma.

Day 4. The Briar has got to go, but after some more enemagic I find out it's not really a briar, but a large orange traffic cone, and it's coming out square end first.

Day 5 I get the catheter out! YAY! I'm not tethered anymore! 10 hrs later I'm back in the ER for another catheter.

Now I have a low grade infection, and feel I have to pee all the time, but it's a direct line out. Doc says that'll go away soon. Not soon enough.

A normal adult bladder holds about 750ml before it'd pretty painful. They got 1930ml out of me. You know there is something up when the nurses tell their cohorts to come by and see this. It was about 2 shot glasses short of a 2 liter bottle.

Catheter comes out this Thursday. The Doc wants ME TO DO IT!!! I have to do it early so if there is a problem, I can get there withour another trip to the ER..... I just might have to find that dog costume.

This is probably way too much info, but I'm thinking about doing this every vacation.

Well, gotta go deal with another traffic cone.

UPDATE: The traffic cone is about the size of a candy corn.... I don't know what they did down there, but from now on I'm on a smoothie diet.

TIP: Hamburger smoothies just don't cut it.