Yes, I know it's been over 2 weeks since my last post, but it is difficult for me to try to be funny. Friends at work say I'm pretty entertaining, but that's in person.
Well, I thought I would have to go to N.A. meetings to get off the Lidocaine. You know..."Hi, I'm Bob and I have a drug problem." "Hello Bob!" (I don't know why there is a big gap in the text here, but it won't go away)
As it turns out, the problem took care of itself. I developed a reaction to using it. When I was in itching hell, I'd put on some more lidocaine. It would take about 15-20 minutes for the itching to subside, and I'd be good for a couple of hours. Well, I got this rash, and it itched like hell too, so I thought, "I'll just put some on it too." Within a couple of days, I had the worst case of rash on my ass that I could imagine, and the itching was worse than ever. On my side, I'll bet my ass looks like a hippo mouth with chapped lips! I'm still only getting about 3-4 hours of sleep a night because of the itching. Not only that, but I have rash starting where I've never used lidocaine. I have an itchy ring around my belly button! WTF is up with that?!
Went to the doc today, and I now have a cream for the itch part of where the sugery was..., one for my cheeks, and another one for the other independent rashes. He says it looks like I've developed a mild infection. Great, just fucking great! The good part of all this?
In between hot baths (3-4 a day), and itchy spells (more than 3 or 4 a day), I can't sit long because it irritates the itch, so I go out to the garage and work on my airplane. I'm hoping to be able to crank it up sometime next month and fly soon after that!
There's a ton of work to do on it, but I'm on a mission.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Star of Bethlehem
I'm realizing that my recovery is taking as long as the doctor said. I figured I would be back to normal in a few weeks. Although I have periods of normalcy, this itching is about to take me down. I've become a lidocaine junky. It says on the tube to use every 6 hours. HA! After 2 hours it was itching so bad, I was almost wishing for the intense pain I woke up to. So I was using the lidocaine as needed.
Well, the swelling hasn't gone down like it should, and the redness is getting worse. After one of my tub episodes, I was bent over looking in the mirror and thought, "My ass looks like a Christmas ornament, it could almost be the star on top of the tree". Upon furthur inspection, the way the swelling is and how the redness is making a halo around it, I decided instead it looks like the Star of Bethlehem.
Mind now going into overdrive... how could this be marketed on ebay? Not many guys can say their ass looks like a heavenly object. I do know quite a few women that have those, however. It would be easy if it looked like the Virgin Mary, or Jesus himself, I'd even take Willie Nelson or George Bush, but this isn't a piece of toast or pancake that I can sell. Pictures probably wouldn't sell very well as most people would think they were photoshopped. Being in the true Christmas spirit, I thought about standing on top of the house with a nativity scene below, and a spotlight on my ass hoping that it would inspire some wise men to lavish my humble abode with Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh.
Alas, one of the neighbors would probably call the cops and although it probably wouldn't be proven to be indecent exposure in a court of law it could, however, be considered at that point a career limiting move. Besides it's cold out there.
No matter what, it's not a pretty picture.
Well, the swelling hasn't gone down like it should, and the redness is getting worse. After one of my tub episodes, I was bent over looking in the mirror and thought, "My ass looks like a Christmas ornament, it could almost be the star on top of the tree". Upon furthur inspection, the way the swelling is and how the redness is making a halo around it, I decided instead it looks like the Star of Bethlehem.
Mind now going into overdrive... how could this be marketed on ebay? Not many guys can say their ass looks like a heavenly object. I do know quite a few women that have those, however. It would be easy if it looked like the Virgin Mary, or Jesus himself, I'd even take Willie Nelson or George Bush, but this isn't a piece of toast or pancake that I can sell. Pictures probably wouldn't sell very well as most people would think they were photoshopped. Being in the true Christmas spirit, I thought about standing on top of the house with a nativity scene below, and a spotlight on my ass hoping that it would inspire some wise men to lavish my humble abode with Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh.
Alas, one of the neighbors would probably call the cops and although it probably wouldn't be proven to be indecent exposure in a court of law it could, however, be considered at that point a career limiting move. Besides it's cold out there.
No matter what, it's not a pretty picture.
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